Thursday, November 29, 2007

23 days...

I've never been too interested in owning my own house or even living in a house. I've been raised in apartments and as long as I can remember, I've liked the simplicity of living in a rental apartment. My friends were forced to help out for free in the garden; mowing lawns, trimming hedges and raking leaves, whereas I had those (and other) tasks as my paid summer job for years and years. My friends had to help out painting window trimmings and climb up ladders to clean the roof. My friends couldn't go abroad on vacation as the furnace in their home had to be changed that year.

Some of my friends "felt sorry for me" as I lived in an apartment but I never saw that as something negative. We didn't have neighbours that bothered us. We didn't disturb anyone. And we had great park in our block that we could play in. Or sunbathe in. We could kick ball on the lawns. Climb in the trees and pick apples and plums. Swing on the swing set and build sand castles in the sand box. My parents also bought the summer house when I was in my pre-teens so I got some "country air" on weekends and during summer vacations.

And now when we're moving to our own house I notice people thinking that we've stepped up a notch on the status ladder. That we've done something really good. And I can't help but to tell them that I think I'd be just as happy in a rental apartment in the city without a garden to care for and without the worry of having something break down that costs money to repair... That this is one of the compromises I've had to work out in my relationship as my boyfriend is going crazy in the apartment. He needs his garage. He needs his porch with evening sun. He needs his lawn. He needs his own washing machine. He also needs his space and would love to go back to living in the middle of nowhere just as he did when I met him, but he's had to compromise on that one...

Don't take me wrong here, I'm not doing this just to suit my boyfriend. I'm not just tagging along. I'm very excited about this upcoming change. But to be honest, it's more about us getting somehting that is ours and getting something that we plan on keeping for a couple of years. It's not about it being a house. It's about somehting that will be ours. None of us have ever lived there before. None of us has filled the place with furniture and stuff. It's not something we know is temporary for just a year or so. I'm very excited at the idea of us creating a home together. (Even though it's a tough one considering our different tastes in style and furniture...)

I find myself fantasizing about what kind of rug we'll put in front of the cough. A round one? A square one? Green or purple? I find myself putting the furniture in, organizing my current knitting projects on the shelf at the short side of the living room - just next to my seat in the cough - and also put in my knitting books and notions and fun stuff so it's easily reachable. I look for cushion patterns as I plan to sew us new cushions for the cough. (It's a very dark brown cough, the floor is wooden and the walls will be white. I'm thinking about using green and purple as my accent colours. What do you think?) I think about what kind of comfy chair we'll put in front of the book shelves in our "library" (= basically one corner of the living room). I have the office/craft room set up in my mind and plan to take over the wardrobes in there for my yarn and my sewing supplies.

It's funny - or maybe completely normal - but I see the place like I want it to look like. Can't say I honestly include boyfriend's thoughts or tastes in my pictures. Maybe because I sort of know that more often than not I'll get it my way... I'm more stubborn and I'm more interested in what it looks like. :shrug: I guess it's part of our deal too; he makes decisions that has to do with the outside of the house and the garage, whereas I take care of the indoors. I think we'll work on the garden together. I decide what we'll plant and what it'll look like and he'll take care of it. Nah, seriously I think he'll be the one with the most ideas and the strongest urge to work in it. And with it. He has all these ideas about making a barbeque, putting some water in, build some kind of steps in the backyard, build benches and all that. I think I'll let him run free.

When I don't think about what the place will look like, I fantasize about our life there. About breakfasts in the dining area, evenings in the chair by the bookshelves, knitting hours in the cough with "everything" in reach, tea on the porch in the backyard, making out on the lawn when the neighbours aren't home, cats being able to go outside everyday, friends over for dinner in a "proper home", laundry hanging out to dry in the garden, being able to keep the bikes up by the front door, me standing in the kitchen watching boyfriend collect the newspaper or mail on rainy or snowy days, shutting that screen door every night so the cats won't wake us up in the morning by scratching on our bedroom door... This will be such a different life compared to the one we have now.

And it'll start in 23 days.


essjay said...

You aren't counting the days until you move are you? ;) I do love that you and your boyfriend are excited about creating a new space - there is something to be said about starting over and truly making the house for the both of you! The life may be different than the one you have now but in good ways! I'm so happy for both of you!

Jen said...

I think your greens and purples and browns sound *lovely!* Especially with white on the walls...I can see it in my head. Fresh and very natural...nice!

I'm excited to hear about how things will take shape! We just moved this year, ourselves, so I can relate to all the anxiety and the excitement. It's totally worth it, though. Hang in there!