So I wrote and posted every day for a month. And then I became all quiet for a week. I honestly didn't mean to.
Work is kicking my butt. I'm tired when I come home in the evenings. And my mind is either wandering or asleep. We're at a mile stone in one of the big projects I'm managing. For the last two years, we've been aiming to get to where we are now. It's exciting! But also nerve-wrecking. I'm the contact person for this project and I'm expecting a lot of calls and emails from people. Upset ones.
To be frank, I wish it was early December. That we could skip, or at least fast forward, these next three weeks. Apart from getting anxious every time my phone rings, I also have a packed schedule. I'm going to work some evenings and on a Saturday, which hasn't happened before. I have 15 hours booked outside the office to be the representative of our company. And I also have other work projects and the "usual deadlines" to deal with.
In the next three weeks I also have plans for fun things with my boyfriend, friends or family. I have a camera workshop to attend to. I have knit night. I have an appointment to get my back and hip adjusted. I have bowling planned for Friday night. And three dinners with friends. I'm meeting my mum for a fika one evening and my sister two days later. I have a book club meeting where we're supposed to discuss a book I haven't read yet.
Whenever I think about my calendar for the next couple of weeks and feel my heart starting to race, I try to think about needing the fun activities to balance the hours of heavy duty work. That doing things, and not just spending time on the couch, makes me more energetic and alert and therefor leaves me in better shape to fight the darkness here. But I also tell myself that all these fun things are voluntary and that I have the power to cancel them if I just can't stand seeing another person or even saying another word to someone... Not counting my cats.