Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Life choices...

Today is a better day. Even though I woke up to snow this morning. I think this winter has been on forever. Hasn't it?

I'm so ready for spring. (Even though my wardrobe isn't...)


My mother just emailed me more pictures of my niece and her parents. They look wonderful all three of them.

It's funny, I never thought I'd get mushy over my brother becoming a father, but I so am. The little brat has really grown up. And he's learning how to become a father. He looks really happy in the photos I've seen and speaking to him on the day of my niece's birth was just amazing. My mum says the same thing: that he speaks in a way we've never heard him do before. He uses words and expressions we didn't know he knew. And he tells her about all these details. Voluntarily!

I'm excited for him. For them both. Or all three.


I've told a lot of people that I have a new niece. And that she's one of the cutest babies I've ever seen. I think most people can hear my happiness in the voice and words I use. I like that!

But I strongly dislike when a lot of them interpret that happiness into something that it isn't and ask me about "getting one of my own"... What's up with people???

Being a female in my thirties I can't say I find a specific baby to be cute without wanting one myself? Being a female in my thirties I can't be happy for my brother without wanting to become a mother? Being a female in my thirties I can't sound happy when talking about a baby and a family without wanting the same thing for myself? Being a female in my thirties I can't have a baby picture on the wall in my office without longing for sleepless nights, poopy diapers and baby drool?

This makes me angry. And I could go on a rant about it. Definately. But I realize I've been down this path before and to save myself time: here's a link to a post I wrote in October last year about my choice to live child free.


Thinking about it, there are other choices I've made in my life that have had people question me. Biggest one being when I three years ago decided to get into a relationship with a man older than I am. My immediate family didn't say much about it, but others did. Acquaintances and colleagues.

I had relatives question me when I decided not to go through with my alternative plans on becoming a medical doctor. I had some questioning me when I decided to get on anti-depressants a couple of years ago. I've lost count on how many times I've been questioned about my choice to not drink alcohol. I've had numerous people question my choice of not having any contact with my biological father.

Are there any choices you've made that have had people question you? Would you mind sharing with a comment?


Mallow said...

I'm with you on this one - I've never felt the urge to have kids. People always said, "You will, you will." Now that I am in my 30's I'm getting that question about regret too. It's fascinating to me how often people try and change my mind.

Stine said...

I don't get why people seem to think they have such a right to poke their nose's into other people's business. There's a degree to which questioning can be helpful (making sure you've thought things through), but so many people cross the line and start telling you what THEY think you should do. Oy.

Anonymous said...

I did some extensive traveling during a time when others thought I should have been developing my career. As these people did not understand my need for a break, I didn't expect them to understand my personal decisions. In reality, unhelpful comments like these are harmless, as they come from those who don't understand our situations.

DotMom (a.k.a. Julie) said...

Well, our decision to homeschool our children instead of enrolling them in public or private school is frequently -- but usually politely -- questioned. Most of the time, though, people are supportive and say that they wish they could do the same.

essjay said...

Winter is never ending here too.

I haven't taken to much flack yet for not having children, but someday I know we will!

angelia said...

Choosing not to have children is the one thing people don't understand about me. Rob and I don't want them. Period. We dearly love our nieces and nephews and enjoy being the cool aunt and uncle, which we definitely are, but we do not want children of our own. "Oh, but you won't feel that way when you have one." I've heard that a thousand times. "But what if I do feel that way?" is my response. Just because I am biologically capable of having children does not mean I am obligated to do so. Makes me furious!

On a happier note, congrats to your familiy on the new addition! I am so very happy for all of you!